Which Mother-In-Law Are You?

Do you get along with your daughter-in-law or do you find that this relationship is a bit of a challenge? What would your daughter-in-law say about her relationship with you? Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships can be tricky to say the least. One reason for this is that we often don’t realize how we may be portraying ourselves. Sometimes it’s about how others, in this case your daughter-in-law perceives you. Most of the time it’s both.

What are some of the things that play into how you relate as a mother-in-law? There are many things affecting how you relate to people, or in this case how you relate to your daughter-in-law. The best way for me to answer this is by giving you just a few things to ask yourself:

Have you developed an identity other than “mom?”
Have you “let go” of your son, allowing him to grow into who he is destined to be?
Have you spent time thinking about what it means to be a mother-in-law?
Do you remember being in your 20’s or 30’s – figuring out the whole marriage/wife thing?
Now that you’ve answered these “thought-provoking” questions, let’s take a look at the different types of mothers-in-law. Which one are you? Would your daughter-in-law agree?

Comfortable Carla: She has a healthy perspective about her relationship with her son and her role in his life. She recognizes and supports her son’s need to be his own person and make his own decisions. She has a good handle on when to “dive in” and when to “hold back” with people, particularly with her son and daughter-in-law.

Mothering Margaret: She’s either struggling with who she is at this point in her life, or she doesn’t understand her role with her son is changing. She still sees her role as “mom” and so what she tends to do is be a “mom” to her son AND her daughter-in-law.

Off-the-Wall-Wanda: She often rubs people the wrong way, in particular her daughter-in-law. She finds that her daughter-in-law (and maybe even her son) tend to avoid her much of the time. Or, they limit their contact with her.

Uncertain Sara: She feels pretty good about herself and where she is in her life. She’s carved out a life for herself that is different than being a “mom.” She’s tried different things to engage with her daughter-in-law, but her daughter-in-law gives her no positive feedback or response. So, she’s not sure what to do or how to act.

After reading about these different types of mothers-in-law, you’re either thrilled with what you learned or you’re shocked, uncomfortable, or even horrified. Don’t fret! You can change to become a “dream mother-in-law.” It’s not as hard as you think.