Do You Know Which Daughter-In-Law You Are?

Do you find yourself feeling stressed, tense or possibly “edgy” when you’re around your mother-in-law? When you married did you think about your new role as a daughter-in-law? Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships can be challenging to say the least. It’s easy to focus on your mother-in-law as the real cause for the distress. And I believe she does play her part in the “back and forth” you feel with her. Sometimes it’s about how your mother-in-law perceives you. Other times it’s about how you may be portraying yourself. Most of the time it’s both.

There are several factors affecting how you relate to others; one of the major factors is how you feel about yourself. And this connects directly to your relationship with your mother. Do you have a strong sense of self; and have you always felt this way or did you find yourself growing into it as a young adult? Do you tend to question, doubt, or judge yourself more than you’d like? Do you find you don’t like who you are when you’re around your mother? These questions may be easy or difficult to answer. They are also just the beginning step of what you need to sort through to determine how you may be portraying yourself to others, or in this case your mother-in-law.

With the questions about your relationship with your mother on your mind, let’s take a look at the different types of daughters-in-law. Which one are you? Would your mother-in-law agree?

Confident Connie: She has a good sense of who she is and is emotionally independent of her mother. In other words, she sees herself as separate from her mom. She stays consistent in her thoughts, beliefs, and behavior, regardless of who is around or in what situation she finds herself.

Doubting Donna:In her personal world she’s not as comfortable with herself as she’d like to be. She questions herself more than she’d like and is more often than not, critical of herself. Her mother can and does continue to affect how she feels about herself, and may even affect what she does.

Off-the-Wall Wendy: She is more comfortable keeping to herself and not engaging with others. For her own reasons, she typically doesn’t want to spend time with her husband’s family, or if she has to, she doesn’t want to interact with them. She often perceives others as demanding or manipulative.

Transitioned Tracy:She has worked through some earlier issues she had with her mother. As a result, she’s developed into a strong, emotionally independent woman. For the most part she’s become comfortable with herself, eager to take charge of her life as a woman and a wife.